LOVE

Jesus replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments. (Matthew 22:37-40)

I was reminded of this verse when I was in the midst of a painful realization that my second marriage was ending due to my turning my back on God. I had fallen into a some destructive choices and my husband had confronted me and asked for a divorce.

I knew I had created the pain and all I wanted to do was change the situation. I sought wise counsel from the authors of a book I had read about how their marriage survived an affair. I believed things could turn around for me too. But, everything I had done had not made a difference. The wife of the author team emailed me and she directed me to this scripture.
As I read her email, my first thought was, “That’s not the kind of advice I was seeking. That’s crap.” I wanted a step-by-step plan to change my husband’s mind. I pushed it aside and set out again on my own to change things.

But, a strange thing happened during the month that followed. The verse haunted me. And I began to struggle with how I could love God again. How I could make him my first and foremost in my life. I didn’t trust Him. After all, he had let me down in my first mar­riage...and now...well. But, I felt God wooing me and he wouldn’t let go!

During the next year, I slowly lost things that had become idols to me. I had already lost my job...but, I lost another one during the year. I was in the process of losing my marriage. My husband sold our house and I had to move in with my parents. Because I was out of the kids’ school district, they remained with my first husband. I only saw them on Sunday. It was extremely painful. But, I still felt God moving in me.

That was almost three years ago. Day by day, I have learned to let go and let God love me so that I can love him back. As I received his love, I am able to love others. He created the change...in me. Through his love and his love alone.

I know that I don’t want God to have to “break my legs” again to get my attention. I never want to return to that kind of pain. So, day by day I remember that I must love God first in order to go where he calls me...and to have the kind of peace only he can provide in my life. So...I ask you now…

What are you loving more than Jesus in your life?