HE LOVES ME--HE LOVES ME NOT

As I prepare to facilitate the Divorce Care sessions being held at my church, I am reminded of the residue divorce often leaves creating a unhealthy fear of affliction in a person. So, some people steer away from the thought of ever entering into another relationship that might make them feel pain.

I am no stranger to heartache. It’s been 18 months since my second divorce was final. Since that time I have been in three significant dating relationships…two of them lasting only a couple of months. But, my fear of pain did not bring an end to these relationships. They ended because I recognized they were not the ones that God had in mind for me.

While I desire to share the rest of my life with someone, what I desire more is what God wants for me—understanding true love and all its implications.

God is the author of love in my life. He initiated it when he sent Jesus to die on the cross for me. This caused him great anguish. Therefore, I recognize that love does not exist in this fallen world without pain. We enter into relationships with our selfish desires intact and create an environment that imposes our expectations on the other person. When that person fails to meet those expectations, this creates friction that eventually leads to pain.

The key is recognizing that God desires us to love. In a perfect world love does not create friction. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT) defines love like this:

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Yet, we do not live in a perfect world and with love sometimes comes torment. Verse 13 further exemplifies love as the ultimate treasure: “Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.”

Each of us has a choice. Live with love or without it. I have chosen to overcome my fear of pain and recognize that love is bundled with an occasional wound. I would rather be wounded in battle than be without love—for in experiencing true love, I experience what God really intended for me…his unconditional love.