I remember the day I was old enough to calculate the difference between my age and the date my parents got married. Let’s just say, it was less than nine months! (Sorry, Mom and Dad, if I’ve blown your cover.) This discovery came about the same time that my parents took teenage foster children into our home. The chaos created by troubled teens consumed my parents’ time and attention, and I began to question my place in our family. I was 10 years old trying to find clarity in the midst of confusion. Connecting the dots between being and unplanned baby and feeling invisible resulted in my believing a lie: I am a mistake. I carried this belief with me through the next 20 years.
Living with a lie rendered me powerless. For 20 years I floundered looking for satisfaction in getting married, having a baby, building a new home, finding the right job, collecting the right friends, networking with the right people, adorning my outer beauty to get noticed. But, none of it quenched my desire for true satisfaction and contentment.
Steven Covey explained how everyone desires purpose and meaning. As I devoured the book and turned to the Bible for meaning, I shifted my paradigm and started a journey of change. Psalm 139 showed me I was not invisible and I am not a mistake.
Psalm 139:13-16 (Good News Version) says,
“You created every part of me; you put me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because you are to be feared…when my bones were being formed, carefully put together in my mother’s womb, when I was growing there in secret, you knew that I was there—you saw me before I was born. The days allotted to me had all been recorded in your book, before any of them ever began.”Really? He decided that I was going to be born and He established a specific purpose for me? I felt a sense of freedom. The next step—discover that purpose. ..
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