I AM GOD...YOU ARE NOT

“As a fellow elder, I appeal to you. Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God. Don’t lord it over the people assigned to your care, but, lead them by your own good example. And when the Great Shepherd appears, you will receive a crown of never-ending glory and honor.” (1 Peter 5:2-4, NLT)

Peter reminds us in these verses that we are all called to lead somehow. We each have a circle of influence and a responsibility within that circle to be examples. Good leaders realize they are caring for God’s flock, not their own. Leading should come from a place of willingness and not obligation. We should be concerned about what we can give and not what we can get. And we lead by example, not by force.

These verses speak to me because I tend to force my presence in the lives of the people God has placed around me. I possess the gifts of exhortation and teaching. These gifts are just that, gifts—not a right. If left unchecked, these gifts can leave wounds instead of bringing healing.
The gift of exhortation gives me a clear perspective on God’s word and how to apply it to the Christian life. It affords me the ability to see what is happening and connect the dots. It helps me be introspective. But, it also gives me the ability to see into the lives of others and help them fit the puzzle pieces together. Sometimes the gift of exhortation coupled with teaching can lead me to a place where I force my understanding and beliefs in an attempt to help the person move forward to the next step.

As I asked God to show me how I can use these gifts for his glory and help grow His kingdom, I clearly understood that I must have an unconditional respect for each of the people in my life. What does that unconditional respect look like? I think 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 shows me the answer.

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.”

As a Christ follower, I have no other option but to love. I must be patient and kind and respect that we each are individuals with different temperaments. God speaks to each of us differently. I can desire the good things for my family and friends. Yet, I cannot want it more for them than they want it for themselves. I must respect the steps they each are taking to know God and then trust that God is working. I can listen to the Holy Spirit and follow his lead instead of playing the role of the Holy Spirit in their lives.

Unconditional love and respect go hand in hand. Love is not jealous, boastful, proud or rude. These characteristics will give me the ability to sense the boundaries that people place in their lives. Even though Christians are called to help each other remain accountable, I know that I cannot hold anyone accountable that has not given me permission to do so. When people in my life begin to distance themselves from me, I need to take that step back and understand why they are doing so. Have I smothered them? Am I pushing too hard? Do I make them feel as if they are not good enough? Is the information I am providing too much for them to process right now?

This kind of love and respect will help the truth triumph over the lies. I must give God my trust and know that as I pray for these people, that He will work in their lives. He will show me when to open my mouth and when to keep it shut.

Irritability with people comes from a source of self-pride. It is arrogant and rude. I get this way when I see the answer clearly and that person does not. Am I really better? No. I understand that I have walked a path of unveiling the true baggage in my life, working through the pain and healing from my hurts. That allows me only to be a good example and not think of myself as better.

What I have heard God say to me today is to put on my brotherly love and respect each person as an individual. I have heard him say, “I am God…you are not.” So, I will let him do the work and I will follow His lead.