INTO UNKNOWN TERRITORY

Yesterday I made a difficult decision to leave my small group. It’s a decision I didn’t even know I’ve been wrestling with. But, the other day it became quite clear where I belong. As I saw God closing the door, I tried to keep my foot in it so it wouldn’t shut completely.

A couple of months ago I committed to facilitating the Divorce Care program at Hope (my church). Divorce Care meets on Monday nights for a period of 13 weeks. My small group had also met on Monday nights last year. When I discussed this with my small group leaders, they offered to move group meetings to Wednesday nights to I could be there—something I appreciated.

Yet, another roadblock occurred. Since the beginning of this year, I have been feeling a call to work with women and helping them understand who God created them to be. I have been praying about it and waiting for the Lord to send me those women. As the time approached to begin our small group meetings again, I had already stepped into a one-on-one relationship with my friend Susan who turned to me to help her with prayer.

God also brought another young woman—a teenager—into my life through the mentoring program Big Brothers Big Sisters. As Susan and I tried to mesh our busy schedules, we incorporated meeting together on the nights that my church holds a Wild Wednesday outreach for junior high students. This was a way to get my Little Sister involved and allow Susan’s daughter to begin bonding with kids her own age at Hope. But, this was also the night my small group had chosen to meet.

All was well—or so I thought—because I decided to commit to the small group every other Wednesday that I wasn’t meeting with Susan. Then we asked Susan to join the small group and we all decided that since she was a new member to the group, it would be good to have her there at every meeting rather than every other. When the small group leaders decided to help us out by changing the meeting place to the church so that I could still take my Little Sister to the Wild Wednesdays, I felt a small pang. While I appreciated their willingness to work around my commitments and help me still be a part of this small group, I felt God call me again.

As I took a brief step back, I realized that where I really needed and wanted to be was with Susan and my Little Sister. I couldn’t do that and be a part of small group—at least not well. That’s when I knew I it was time to birth my own small group where I could focus on just women and the issues we face.

Don’t misunderstand me. I love my small group and hated the thought of not being a part of what we all had built together. This small group is comprised of several leaders and while we have butted heads on some occasions, the dynamics of our group works well. We bonded tightly. But, one of the concepts behind small groups at Hope is to birth a new group after 18-24 months of being together. It can be a painful process to leave a group with whom you have comraderie and such acceptance.


When I finally made the decision to follow God’s direction, I felt such peace. He has given me a vision and I have moved out of my comfort zone back into unknown territory—and it feels right.

Thank you to each and every one of you in my small group who loved me unconditionally and helped me grow through it. I will miss you. But, I know I will continue to be a part of your lives in a different way now.