PARENTAL GUIDEANCE FORGIVEN

“He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins.” (Ephesians 1:7 NIV)

After the Saturday evening service in late July where I gave my testimony, Mom approached me with tears in her eyes and reached to embrace me. As she formed her arms around my shoulders, she softly spoke these words, “I am constantly reminded of the grace and mercy that you extended to us as imperfect parents and the choices we made that caused you so much pain. Thank you.”

These words once again smoothed over the old wounds as I realized that is exactly what I had done without even being conscience of it. I know that I always desired the unbroken relationship that children and parents are supposed to cherish. But, the choice they made to bring and keep troubled foster teens into our home brought pain into my life that no child should have to face.

I had a hard time giving them the respect they deserved simply because they were my parents and that is what God calls us to do. He put me under their watch for a reason.

Finally, at the age of 30 when I came into a real relationship with Jesus Christ, I began to see the need to deal with the forgiveness I had not extended. Instead of forgiving I simply stuffed it inside believing it was past and there was nothing I could change. I was wrong. So, I sat at my kitchen table one afternoon and wrote them a letter of forgiveness…and I mailed it. That was the catalyst to bring our relationship to a point of healing.

Over the course of the next 10 years I wrestled with learning to make godly choices and eventually found myself running from God. As a result, I continued to make poor choices and put my children in the path of pain.

This summer when my daughter returned from her first year of college, she and I had a major conflict that brought a lot of her pain to the surface. I encouraged her to speak with a Christian counselor and she heeded my advice. I turned to Mom for wisdom. And she once again reminded me that one day she would extend me the same grace and mercy I had given them.

My daughter and I have done a lot of healing together this summer…but the restoration is not yet complete. I continue to pray for her…that she will one day see that I too am an imperfect parent and that God placed her under my watch and care for a reason.

I pray that she will be filled with kindness and grace and understand the true healing power of forgiveness. And that God our Father did the work so we could have parents whom we could respect and honor like he planned.